I have heard many great things about Sh. Anse Tamara Grey, not least from her incredible bio (which you can read here). Her recent talk at the Zaytuna College fundraising dinner is a powerful wake-up call to men and women alike. Below is a quote I typed out from her which simply blew me away, beneath which you can find a link to the full talk.
Her message; “Lean In”
“It does not say the prophet ﷺ would help at home. It would say the prophet would work at home
- To say he worked at home is to say he took on the responsibility of the household
- To say he helped at home is to say “he is a good guy because he picked up his towel”
Housework is not the responsibility of a Muslims woman. In the Hanafi madhab, it is required that the Muslim man relieve her of such duties with paid household help. If he does not, then he has to compensate her for the duties that she does.
Imagine the sin of a man who not only does not help or compensate his wife, but complains about the work of the house and uses it to control his wife.”
– Sh. Anse Tamara Grey